when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.
to clarify. my dad used to be a cab driver in ny and he also grew up in india so he just drives like a dickhead.
getting misgendered by adults but universally correctly gendered by children makes me feel like some sort of fairy creature thats true form is only perceptible to children
do you guys want to know one of the coolest things ever btw. i’m going to tell you either way i just like to give you the illusion of choice
when anteaters find an anthill they don’t just stick their face in and slurp with reckless abandon. they leave behind enough ants to rebuild the ant society and also don’t eat queens. they’re not just hunting the ants they are essentially farming them. isn’t that the coolest
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if you reblog this post without my anteater fact i hate you. it’s the most important part.
Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I’m simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time
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